The Secret Goldfish

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skluug:

aha. i can tell from the look on your face that my behavior has surprised you. perhaps my past behavior had lead you to believe i’d respond to this circumstance differently? you’ve just encountered one of my trademark “multitudes”

(via onyxjoker)

  • 2 days ago > skluug
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hyrude:

the only way out is through ! (remembers how often i would fake a stomachache as a kid) unless…

(via squeakadeeks)

  • 3 days ago > hyrude
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cahootings:

I redownload this app for one day once every maybe two months and unfortunately I’m rewarded every time

(via bagelbutch)

  • 4 days ago > cahootings
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oneheadtoanother:

sovietnam:

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(via bagelbutch)

  • 6 days ago > sovietnam
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big-edies-sun-hat:

slicedblackolives:

“stop traumadumping to your friends tell this to your therapist” my god they paywalled human connection

“If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it, I should not mind a bit. but if a friend of mine had a sorrow and refused to allow me to share it, I should feel it most bitterly. If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me, I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted so that I might share in what I was entitled to share. If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him, I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.”

Oscar Wilde

(via coast-modern)

  • 6 days ago > slicedblackolives
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kimpossibooty:

kimpossibooty:

kimpossibooty:

destroyerphoenix:

kimpossibooty:

daffidilly:

kimpossibooty:

finally got Baldur’s Gate 3 time to get h*rny up in here

Unrecovered Homestuck chose tiefling, that’s what he means by horny. Don’t let him fool you

my mortal nemesis, my wife, has delivered a killing blow

but did you choose the appropriately colored horns

no but I did look at them in character creation for a good minute

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like I always say, spousal pvp wife, spousal pvp life

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LEAVE ME ALONE

(via chiptunehero)

  • 1 week ago > kimpossibooty
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alphabetcompletionist:

manyblinkinglights:

raskolnikovstherapist:

raskolnikovstherapist:

coffee shop by my house hired a new barista who is extraordinarily hot and flirts with me incessantly but she also makes the worst - and i truly mean the worst - coffee i’ve ever paid for. atrociously bad. just another of god’s little jokes

just remembered the barista who worked there last year and treated me with an attitude generally reserved for children and the incompetent to the point where she would frequently adjust my drink order in front of me and every single time it was BANGIN’

#cloth barista wire barista

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY

25/26

(via squeakadeeks)

  • 1 week ago > raskolnikovstherapist
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rootsofthearthareconsumingmyhome:

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(via coast-modern)

  • 1 week ago > rootsofthearthareconsumingmyhome
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whoisandyloam:

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  • 1 week ago > whoisandyloam
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bumblequinn:

annunakitty:

bumblequinn:

bumblequinn:

bumblequinn:

joe biden: how do i look in this chef hat, giuseppe?

giuseppe, the presidential butler: waifish and breedable as always, muy lord

joe biben: fabulous. pass me the Improbable Meat

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i will have u all know i breathe nothing but the Finest Quality Airs. and they are loaded chock full with Nutrience

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you wish my air is poison junior? you want me to imagine dragon breathing in the chemical? giuseppe, smite this fool

I live with her and I regret to inform everyone that she is just like this, no gas leak or drugs required

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WOW

(via bagelbutch)

  • 2 weeks ago > bumblequinn
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lakevida:

you missed it because you were looking at your phone but an angel just appeared to me with a flaming sword and told me that god decided there’s nothing wrong with day drinking

(via cryptovolcel)

    • #me this Saturday
  • 2 weeks ago > lakevida
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daughter-of-sapph0:

youhave3verything:

daughter-of-sapph0:

youhave3verything:

image

op link the fucking article

https://www.sbnation.com/a/17776-football enjoy reading about football :)

What football will look like in the future
Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong. Something is terribly wrong.
SBNation.com

thanks. what the fuck

(via greyvaren)

  • 2 weeks ago > youhave3verything
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vampibur:

mutual 1: I want to turn that man’s prostate into silly putty

mutual 2: here’s smth i doodled during science class lol

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mutual 3: pls remember that you personally can drink milk and still be a lactose intolerance ally!! anyone who tells you otherwise doesn’t know their history :]

mutual 4: fucking a robot girl in the ass call that backend programming

mutual 5: holy shit I need him so fucking bad holy shit holyyy shit oh my god

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mutual 6: anyone get kind of horny putting the ignition key in the car….it’s so intimate….turning him on….

mutual 7: so lets talk about where scrimblo’s arc is realistically going- I know a lot of people are trying to argue that he’s being manipulated but this ignores the fact that there is clearly unresolved conflict between him and bleebus about their moralities

mutual 8: happy propeller penis thursday

mutual 9: “scrimblo and bleebus need to discuss their morality” god forbid a pathetic boywife does some torture 🙄🙄

mutual 10: WHO IS HYPED FOR THE NEW ALBUM LETS FUCKING GO

mutual 11: guys we’re not getting a new album

mutual 12: please stop sending me death threats

mutual 13: why is my whole dash talking about this band I don’t even listen to…..

mutual 14: hey boy nice knife wound can i put my tongue in it

mutual 15: i’m going to fall into lake michigan

(via cryptovolcel)

  • 3 weeks ago > vampibur
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